Something forms itself from the silent void of the empty #channels and the noisy chaos of the crowded #channels. It shapes and protects us, it entertains and challenges us, it aids us in our journey through the ether world of chat. It is mysterious; it is at once source code and yet object code. I do not know the name, thus I will call it the Tao of Eggdrop.
If the Tao is great, then the shell is stable. If the shell is stable, then the Eggdrop is secure. If the Eggdrop is secure, then the #channel is safe. If the #channel is safe, then the users are happy.
The Tao of Eggdrop netsplits far away and netjoins on returning.
In the beginning there was chaos in #gayteen.
Robey gave birth to Unrest. Unrest did not have the Tao.
Unrest gave birth to Eggdrop and it had promise.
Beldin gave birth to v1.3 and it was good.
guppy gave birth to v1.4 and it was better.
Eggdrop has evolved greatly from its distant cousins of the old. Eggdrop is embodied by the Tao.
The wise user is told about the Tao and contributes to it. The average user is told about the Tao and compiles it. The foolish user is told about the Tao and laughs and asks who needs it.
If it were not for laughter, there would be no Tao.
The largest #channels are hardest to keep in one's hands. Flooding others only floods one's self. Wisdom leads to good code, but experience leads to good use of that code. Even a thousand Eggdrops can lose a #channel.
The master Kirk once dreamed that he was an Eggdrop. When he awoke he exclaimed:
"I don't know whether I am Kirk dreaming that I am an Eggdrop, or an Eggdrop dreaming that I am Kirk!"
The master Beldin then said:
"The Tao envelopes you. You shall create great code for Eggdrop.""On the contrary," said Kirk, "The Tao has already created the code, I will only have to find it and write it down."
A master was explaining the nature of the Tao to one of his students:
"Is the Tao in the userlist?" he asked."Yes," replied the master.
"Is the Tao in the partyline?" he queried again.
"The Tao is in the partyline."
"Is the Tao even in the modules?"
"It is even in the modules," said the master.
"Is the Tao in the +stopnethack?"
The master frowned and was silent for much time.
"You fail to understand the Tao. Go away."
The Tao is the yin and the yang.
It is the good and the evil, it is everything and yet it is nothing, it is the beginning and the end.
The Tao was there at the Eggdrop's compile, and it will be there when the Eggdrop .dies.
A novice user once asked a master:
"Why compile in C when C++ is more popular?""Why implement TCL when Perl is more popular?"
"And why encrypt in blowfish when des is more popular?"
The master sighed and replied:
"Why run Unix when NT is more popular?"
The user was enlightened.
A frustrated user once asked a master:
"My Eggdrop has crashed, should I go to #Eggdrop?""No," replied the master, "You will only bother the Tao."
"Should I rm -rf?"
"No, you will have wasted the Tao's time."
"Well should I search the web?"
"You will search for all eternity," said the master.
"Perhaps I should try energymech?"
"Then you will have disgraced the Tao."
"I suppose I could try gdb," said the user.
The master smiled and replied:
"Then you will have made the Tao stronger."
A stubborn user once told a master:
"I run version v1.1.5. I always have, and I always will."
The master replied:
"You are foolish and do not understand the Tao.The Tao is dynamic and ever changing. The Eggdrop strives for the perfection that is the Tao. It flows from version to version with peace."
"So my Eggdrop does not have the Tao, so what?" said the foolish user.
"Oh your Eggdrop is of the Tao," said the master. "However, the Tao of Eggdrop follows the Tao of IRC protocol. One day the IRC will change, and your Eggdrop will be left behind."
The user was silent.
An angry user once yelled at a master:
"My Eggdrop has crashed! What lousy software it is, I hate it so!""You are insulting the Tao," said the master. "The Tao is everywhere bringing order to hundreds of #channels, aiding thousands of users, and fighting that of which we call the 'lame.' Do not disrespect the Tao; however, the Tao will forgive you."
"I apologize," said the user, "And I will be more forgiving the next time the Tao fails me."
"The Tao has not failed you, it is you that has failed the Tao," said the master. "The Tao is perfect."
The Tao decides if an Eggdrop shall compile, or if it shall abort.
The Tao decides if an Eggdrop shall run, or if it shall segfault.
The Tao decides if an Eggdrop shall fork, or if it shall remain at console.
But, the Tao does not decide if an Eggdrop will have no i:line to the server. That is a mystery to everyone.
A young Eggdrop novice cried out to a master:
"Help! How can I make my Eggdrop cycle my #channel?"
The master replied:
".dump part #channel""Excellent!" exclaimed the novice, "You are truly the god of Eggdrops!"
"Untrue," said the master," Eggdrop has no god. It is of the Tao."
A young master once approached an old master:
"I have a #channel for Eggdrop help. But, I fail to answer my students' problems; they are above me."
The master replied:
"Have you taught them of the Tao?" he asked. "How it brings together man and software, yet how it distances them apart; how if flows throughout the Eggdrop and transcends its essence?""No," exclaimed the apprentice, "These people cannot even get the source untarred."
"Oh," said the master, "In that case, tell them to RTFM."
A master watched as an ambitious user reconstructed his Eggdrop.
"I shall make every bit encrypted," the user said. "I shall use 2048 bit keys, three different algorithms, and make multiple passes."
The master replied:
"I think it is unwise.""Why?" asked the user. "Will my encryption harm the mighty Tao, which gives the Eggdrop life and creates the balance between hub and leaf? The mighty Tao, which is the thread that binds the modules and links the libtcl with the core? The mighty Tao, which safely guides the TCP/IP packets to and from the IRC server?"
"No," said the master, "It will hog too much cpu."
The core is like the part of the mind that is static. It is programmed at a child's creation and cannot be changed unless a new child is made; unless a new Eggdrop is compiled.
The TCL is like the part of the mind that is dynamic. It is reprogrammed every time one learns new knowledge; every time one learns better code.
One is yin, the other yang. Each is nothing without the other.
A novice came to #Eggdrop and inquired to all the masters there:
"I wish to become a master. Must I memorize the TCL man pages?""No," replied a master.
"Must I submit code to the CVS?"
"No," replied the master.
"Must I meditate daily and dedicate my life to Eggdrop?"
"No," replied the master again.
"Must I go on a quest to ponder the meaning of the Tao?"
"No. A master is nothing more than a student who knows something of which he can teach to other students."
The novice understood.
And thus said the master:
"It is the way of the Tao."
A user came to a master who had great status in #Eggdrop. The user asked the master:
"Which is easier: implementing new features to the Eggdrop or documenting them?""Implementing new features," replied the master.
The confused user then exclaimed:
"Surely it is easier to write a few sentences in the man page than it is to write pages of code without error?""Not so," said the master. "When coding, the Tao of Eggdrop opens my eyes wide and allows me to see beyond the code, to let the source flow from my fingers, to implement without flaw. When documenting, however, all I have to work with is a C in high school English."
He who compiles from the abandoned tree is stubborn and unwilling to change, but is guaranteed reliability.
He who compiles from the stable tree is wise but perhaps too conformist, but is guaranteed steadiness.
He who compiles from the dev tree is adventurous and is guaranteed new innovations: some good, some bad.
He who compiles straight from the cvs is brave but guaranteed turbulence.
They are all of the Tao. One shall respect the old, and debug the new; none shall argue over which is greatest.
There once was a user who scripted in TCL:
"Look at what I have to work with here," he said to a master of core, "My code is interpreted dynamically, the syntax is unique and simple, I have sockets, timers, arrays, and everything I could ever need. Why don't you stop meddling in the C core and come join me?"
The core programmer described his reasoning to the scripter:
"Script is to core as ebonics is to Latin. If the scripter does not grow beyond that of which he scripts, he will surely [die]. Besides, without core, how can there be script?"
The scripter was enlightened, and the two became close friends.
The master says:
"Time for you to leave.
Go make a pizza or something."